There is one rule that I would love everyone to follow: "You are the expert on yourself". Of course, this doesn't mean that you can't learn from others and from the continuous stream of experiences that you encounter every day. But from what I have seen in the past several years, it's all too easy to relinquish our power of decision-making to someone who appears to have all the answers, to someone whose credentials are beyond reproach.
According to a recent article in Forbes Magazine, people tend to follow the economic advice of the experts who express themselves with the most authority and assurance, regardless of their track record. We seem to want to follow someone else's opinions on the difficult questions, relieving the burden we feel concerning the issue and being able to move on to something else. The danger inherent to this method is that we are no longer in charge of ourselves and may submit to the temptation of not taking full responsibility for our decisions.
How many times have you read the results of the latest research on food, only to be confused about the seeming contradictions between all the different studies? How can it be possible for so many conflicting outcomes to come to light on a single topic? The answer, I believe, lies in the inherent differences between every single individual on this beautiful planet. Just like no two fingerprints will match, neither will one solution ever fit universally. Generalizations are very useful since we all share the same basic biology, but refinements must left to each one of us.
If we keep to the subject of food for the moment, here is a tool that I've used quite successfully and have shared with a number of others. If you want to know whether or not your body wants a particular food, follow the steps below:
1. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart, and keep your eyes open;
2. Make sure you are straight over your center of gravity;
3. Hold the food item in your hand (preferably your dominant hand) and place it against your stomach (actually the solar plexus);
4. Ask if your body wants that food right now;
5. Observe the result.
If your body resonates with the food item, then it will try to move toward it, resulting in a feeling that you are "falling" forward. However, if the body is rejecting the item, it will try to move away from it and you will feel as if you are falling backward. As it turns out, you can ask any question that pertains to you and obtain a yes/no answer in this manner, by holding the intent of the question in your hand instead of a food item. A few additional observations about this method:
a) Make sure you are ready to accept whatever the answer is. If you want a particular answer very much, then you could influence the result.
b) Your question must be very clear and precise.
c) If you are sensitive to this type of energy response, which can happen after a bit of practice, you may distinguish between weak and strong responses. Strong responses are clear, whereas weak ones tend to represent a "somewhat" rather than a "yes!". If you get no response at all on a question, and you have received responses in the past, then it's usually that you are not asking the right question. Either rephrase the question, or allow your intuition to feed you a better question.
d) The answer pertains to *now*. For example, your body may be quite excited at the prospect of eating an apple right now, but it may want something entirely different tomorrow. So if you test negative on a substance, it doesn't mean you have to throw it out! It simply means that it's not the best thing at the moment.
The bottom line is that I encourage you to listen to what others have to say and then decide for yourself if you wish to take it in, using your own body as a feedback mechanism. Judging new information based on past beliefs alone may not always be best given the limitations that beliefs normally impose. But your body can help you gauge the direction that is best for you.
Remember, you are unique. Like a snowflake, you come into this world with your own particular representation of perfection. Embrace your beauty, and enhance it with tools that allow it to shine forth.
Helene
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
So happy together
Yesterday I finished reading "The Tao of Physics" by Fritjof Capra, an exploration of the parallels between modern physics and Eastern mysticism. While some of the text is heavily detail-oriented in the matter of particle physics, it's very well written and he arrives at the inescapable conclusion that either path leads to a common endpoint.
It has often been debated whether the scientific view or the spiritual approach provides the "correct" interpretation of this world, with neither side willing to relinquish their deep-set beliefs. But as Capra reminds us, by delving deeply into the experiential results of both disciplines, we arrive at similar conclusions, as supported by his many quotes from scientists and mystics alike.
The more common parallel that we face on a daily basis is whether it is better to use our left brain or our right brain to arrive at a decision. The one will focus on logic and deductive reasoning while the other may offer solutions that were not immediately apparent and may seem irrational.
When starting on a spiritual path, it might behoove us at times to give more of a voice to our intuitive side since most of us have overridden it with a western model of thought our entire lives. But in the end, the real approach is to find a balance between the two, in the same way that you need both knife and fork to slice food. You might want to allow your intuition to draw you in the right direction and your logical mind to address the practicalities of how to get there, as Einstein did to formulate his theories on relativity. Flexibility must also come into play, given what can happen to "the best laid plans". When you encounter an unexpected curve in the road, remember that at all times, the best you can do is make decisions based on the information you have at hand today. Even Ghandi gave himself permission to change the direction of his approach as new information was presented.
It is wonderful to find people with whom we share common interests. It can be fun, uplifting, and supportive. It can also foster exclusivity, a belief that one path is better than another, such as the science vs. spirituality debate. The more we realize that all are essential parts of a whole, that the interrelatedness of every human, animal and plant is what enables us to function, the more we move towards Capra's analogy of our planet as one organic ecology. By promoting cooperation, by releasing artificial boundaries that we've erected, we are better able to understand the unity of all things. I have yet to have a much sought-after experience of true oneness with all, transcending all boundaries, but I do have a choice to make every day in how I think about and behave towards others. Every time I choose compassion, someone else has an opportunity to speak their truth calmly. When presented with non-judgment, people are more liable to feel safe and express those parts of themselves that were heretofore repressed. Every time a dialogue occurs on a platform of love and understanding, new bonds are forged. And healing can occur.
The healing of the planet takes many a hand, and your hand holds a key that no one else possesses. Enjoy the discovery of every other key holder and see what doors you can open together. You may be surprised at what you find and delighted with the new direction that your life might take.
Enjoy the journey,
Helene
It has often been debated whether the scientific view or the spiritual approach provides the "correct" interpretation of this world, with neither side willing to relinquish their deep-set beliefs. But as Capra reminds us, by delving deeply into the experiential results of both disciplines, we arrive at similar conclusions, as supported by his many quotes from scientists and mystics alike.
The more common parallel that we face on a daily basis is whether it is better to use our left brain or our right brain to arrive at a decision. The one will focus on logic and deductive reasoning while the other may offer solutions that were not immediately apparent and may seem irrational.
When starting on a spiritual path, it might behoove us at times to give more of a voice to our intuitive side since most of us have overridden it with a western model of thought our entire lives. But in the end, the real approach is to find a balance between the two, in the same way that you need both knife and fork to slice food. You might want to allow your intuition to draw you in the right direction and your logical mind to address the practicalities of how to get there, as Einstein did to formulate his theories on relativity. Flexibility must also come into play, given what can happen to "the best laid plans". When you encounter an unexpected curve in the road, remember that at all times, the best you can do is make decisions based on the information you have at hand today. Even Ghandi gave himself permission to change the direction of his approach as new information was presented.
It is wonderful to find people with whom we share common interests. It can be fun, uplifting, and supportive. It can also foster exclusivity, a belief that one path is better than another, such as the science vs. spirituality debate. The more we realize that all are essential parts of a whole, that the interrelatedness of every human, animal and plant is what enables us to function, the more we move towards Capra's analogy of our planet as one organic ecology. By promoting cooperation, by releasing artificial boundaries that we've erected, we are better able to understand the unity of all things. I have yet to have a much sought-after experience of true oneness with all, transcending all boundaries, but I do have a choice to make every day in how I think about and behave towards others. Every time I choose compassion, someone else has an opportunity to speak their truth calmly. When presented with non-judgment, people are more liable to feel safe and express those parts of themselves that were heretofore repressed. Every time a dialogue occurs on a platform of love and understanding, new bonds are forged. And healing can occur.
The healing of the planet takes many a hand, and your hand holds a key that no one else possesses. Enjoy the discovery of every other key holder and see what doors you can open together. You may be surprised at what you find and delighted with the new direction that your life might take.
Enjoy the journey,
Helene
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Happy to be stuck with you
According to the mystics of Eastern religions, as well as the discoveries in quantum physics, everything in the world is constantly moving, shifting, evolving. From a human perspective, we can define this movement as "becoming", with the realization that every decision that we make and action that we take guide us along a continuous, though not straight, path. Even if our surroundings don't seem to point to the fact that our life is changing, the actual reality of it is that nothing stays the same, from one moment to the next.
While this may seem like a self-evident truth, it has been brought to my attention loudly and clearly recently that we don't always recognize that fact. Many of us have chosen to skirt the norms of western society by exploring deeper into our nature, or have had life-altering experiences that demonstrate unequivocally that there is more to life than what we've always imagined. Many of us have then changed the course of our lives to fulfill what we felt had to be our mission in life, since such dramatic changes must have happened for a reason. Many have felt called to a path consisting of healing, helping and serving others along with ourselves, working towards a more peaceful outcome for the planet.
And so many of us, after a time lag from months to several years, find ourselves in a position that doesn't seem that far removed, from an external point of view, from where we were when we first consciously started along this path. We may have traveled, attended insightful conferences, met wonderful people, discussed and discovered more facets of this fascinating reality we find ourselves in, explored alternative medicine, or even, as in the case of someone currently sharing her thoughts and feelings, changed everything about our objective environment, from career to friends to home base.
And despite all this movement, all this growth, all this faith that we were following the path we were meant to find, we consider ourselves essentially "stuck", not really feeling closer to our grand purpose than we were before. We believe in the law of attraction, and yet feel helpless to describe our goal in concrete terms, let alone visualize it, when we strive to follow a map that has been laid before us revealing only one day at a time. This bewildering state of affairs has manifested differently for various people, showing up as impatience, frustration or even despair.
The way to overcome these feelings, I believe, is to look at the situation from a very different perspective. I was reminded today of the analogy of a pot of water on the stove. As the water heats, the molecules start moving faster but are still constricted to the pot. Just before the water reaches the boiling point, there is intensity and chaos occurring in the pot, until finally molecules suddenly escape as steam. The issue is not so much the escape as opposed to the transformational process, the fact that everything up to this point has contributed to readying you for flight. So when you reach that magical moment when you see how your entire life has been a preparation for what lays before you, then you can feel flow. Then you can find a new joy in being where you are, doing your current task, and being surrounded by the people closest to you. You move from waiting for life to happen, to fully living the day that is given to you. And you can appreciate doubly how the next synchronicity falls into your lap, now that you are no longer pushing against what feel like your unmet expectations.
You get to choose how you feel. And the more you choose rather than react to events, the more peace you experience, which then seeps into all the lives you touch.
Helene
While this may seem like a self-evident truth, it has been brought to my attention loudly and clearly recently that we don't always recognize that fact. Many of us have chosen to skirt the norms of western society by exploring deeper into our nature, or have had life-altering experiences that demonstrate unequivocally that there is more to life than what we've always imagined. Many of us have then changed the course of our lives to fulfill what we felt had to be our mission in life, since such dramatic changes must have happened for a reason. Many have felt called to a path consisting of healing, helping and serving others along with ourselves, working towards a more peaceful outcome for the planet.
And so many of us, after a time lag from months to several years, find ourselves in a position that doesn't seem that far removed, from an external point of view, from where we were when we first consciously started along this path. We may have traveled, attended insightful conferences, met wonderful people, discussed and discovered more facets of this fascinating reality we find ourselves in, explored alternative medicine, or even, as in the case of someone currently sharing her thoughts and feelings, changed everything about our objective environment, from career to friends to home base.
And despite all this movement, all this growth, all this faith that we were following the path we were meant to find, we consider ourselves essentially "stuck", not really feeling closer to our grand purpose than we were before. We believe in the law of attraction, and yet feel helpless to describe our goal in concrete terms, let alone visualize it, when we strive to follow a map that has been laid before us revealing only one day at a time. This bewildering state of affairs has manifested differently for various people, showing up as impatience, frustration or even despair.
The way to overcome these feelings, I believe, is to look at the situation from a very different perspective. I was reminded today of the analogy of a pot of water on the stove. As the water heats, the molecules start moving faster but are still constricted to the pot. Just before the water reaches the boiling point, there is intensity and chaos occurring in the pot, until finally molecules suddenly escape as steam. The issue is not so much the escape as opposed to the transformational process, the fact that everything up to this point has contributed to readying you for flight. So when you reach that magical moment when you see how your entire life has been a preparation for what lays before you, then you can feel flow. Then you can find a new joy in being where you are, doing your current task, and being surrounded by the people closest to you. You move from waiting for life to happen, to fully living the day that is given to you. And you can appreciate doubly how the next synchronicity falls into your lap, now that you are no longer pushing against what feel like your unmet expectations.
You get to choose how you feel. And the more you choose rather than react to events, the more peace you experience, which then seeps into all the lives you touch.
Helene
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
What is love?
What is love? What is falling in love? These are important questions that lie at the very depths of our beings, so I'll answer as best I can, from a combination of my own explorations in this area as well as information that I receive.
From the point of view of your soul, love is who you are. Love is what your soul experiences when it connects with another soul. Ultimate soul-based love is a return to oneness, where you and another, as souls, become one and experience that unity as an even greater form of love. Divine love is so intense that if you could see it as light, it would seem blinding. And yet, this is the experience that the soul "lives for", and the one that we yearn to find when we take human form.
As humans, we are deeply rooted in a world of duality. This fosters separateness between people, and assists each soul in its individual development. However, though you don't consciously remember what it is to be in the perfect purity of divine love, you are still driven to return to that feeling which is ultimately Home. If you've ever truly felt that "Home is where the heart is", or Home is in the arms of your beloved, then you've relived that feeling of reuniting, of wanting to be so close to another that you want to overlap in the same space. Separateness is not who we are, but it is the schoolroom in which we learn to interact with other souls within a different set of rules, and to transcend all of it in the end by seeing other people as other souls rather than focusing on the clothing of personality that they present to the world.
So love is who you are at your core, and your job is to return to that core by peeling away the layers of false beliefs and fears that may be clouding your view of it. In this sense, love is indeed a choice that you make until you realize that you are nothing else, but don't feel that you should present a Pollyanna-like face to the world when there is turbulence going on inside. Rather, it is a recognition that you are on a path, and every step on that path is serving you to bring you to new awareness, making it easier to let go of old perceptions. Everyone has had experiences in their lives that have held them stuck in certain belief patterns, and your soul is helping you find ways to release those patterns, even by what may feel like draconian methods. It is my hope that what I can bring can somehow make this process easier for people, whether it be in the form of information, energy, or so much love that it bathes away whatever is causing pain to those around me.
When you fall in love, it's normally because your soul has recognized another soul with which it has a particularly deep connection. Normally, this connection has a purpose to help you learn about yourself in this lifetime. This can take the form of mirroring an aspect of yourself that you have been denying, or to show you that you have a repeating pattern in your relationships that needs to be healed, or to help you grow in a new direction. One type of repeating pattern is an addiction to the heights of being in love, to that initial period where you may believe that the other person is perfect, and they make you feel perfect. Hasn't it been said that love is blind? The danger inherent to this type of addiction is that this is not only an illusion that will eventually fade and potentially leave you feeling worse than before because you've just added to your list of unsuccessful relationships, but most importantly, it's symptomatic of the fact that you may be looking for love, for validation, from the outside instead of having achieved in on the inside.
That being said, it's far easier to come to appreciate the fullness of who you are and to release the parts that no longer serve you, when you have the support of someone who loves you deeply. It may even be easier if this person is more of a friend than a romantic partner because you are less likely to temper your development due to a fear that your changing will affect them somehow, potentially resulting in a withdrawal of that love.
The ultimate secret is that when you have seen the love that lies in your own heart right now, you are able to love someone else with an intensity that eclipses the feeling of falling in love which is actually something that happens outside of your conscious control. And the other part of the secret is that you can achieve this level of love in a non-romantic setting, with many people at the same time. Can you think of a more joyful way to experience life?
How all of this may unfold for you can be quite different than for someone else. But at any point of your journey, just know that you are loved. You may not see it or feel it immediately, but love for you abounds.
Helene
From the point of view of your soul, love is who you are. Love is what your soul experiences when it connects with another soul. Ultimate soul-based love is a return to oneness, where you and another, as souls, become one and experience that unity as an even greater form of love. Divine love is so intense that if you could see it as light, it would seem blinding. And yet, this is the experience that the soul "lives for", and the one that we yearn to find when we take human form.
As humans, we are deeply rooted in a world of duality. This fosters separateness between people, and assists each soul in its individual development. However, though you don't consciously remember what it is to be in the perfect purity of divine love, you are still driven to return to that feeling which is ultimately Home. If you've ever truly felt that "Home is where the heart is", or Home is in the arms of your beloved, then you've relived that feeling of reuniting, of wanting to be so close to another that you want to overlap in the same space. Separateness is not who we are, but it is the schoolroom in which we learn to interact with other souls within a different set of rules, and to transcend all of it in the end by seeing other people as other souls rather than focusing on the clothing of personality that they present to the world.
So love is who you are at your core, and your job is to return to that core by peeling away the layers of false beliefs and fears that may be clouding your view of it. In this sense, love is indeed a choice that you make until you realize that you are nothing else, but don't feel that you should present a Pollyanna-like face to the world when there is turbulence going on inside. Rather, it is a recognition that you are on a path, and every step on that path is serving you to bring you to new awareness, making it easier to let go of old perceptions. Everyone has had experiences in their lives that have held them stuck in certain belief patterns, and your soul is helping you find ways to release those patterns, even by what may feel like draconian methods. It is my hope that what I can bring can somehow make this process easier for people, whether it be in the form of information, energy, or so much love that it bathes away whatever is causing pain to those around me.
When you fall in love, it's normally because your soul has recognized another soul with which it has a particularly deep connection. Normally, this connection has a purpose to help you learn about yourself in this lifetime. This can take the form of mirroring an aspect of yourself that you have been denying, or to show you that you have a repeating pattern in your relationships that needs to be healed, or to help you grow in a new direction. One type of repeating pattern is an addiction to the heights of being in love, to that initial period where you may believe that the other person is perfect, and they make you feel perfect. Hasn't it been said that love is blind? The danger inherent to this type of addiction is that this is not only an illusion that will eventually fade and potentially leave you feeling worse than before because you've just added to your list of unsuccessful relationships, but most importantly, it's symptomatic of the fact that you may be looking for love, for validation, from the outside instead of having achieved in on the inside.
That being said, it's far easier to come to appreciate the fullness of who you are and to release the parts that no longer serve you, when you have the support of someone who loves you deeply. It may even be easier if this person is more of a friend than a romantic partner because you are less likely to temper your development due to a fear that your changing will affect them somehow, potentially resulting in a withdrawal of that love.
The ultimate secret is that when you have seen the love that lies in your own heart right now, you are able to love someone else with an intensity that eclipses the feeling of falling in love which is actually something that happens outside of your conscious control. And the other part of the secret is that you can achieve this level of love in a non-romantic setting, with many people at the same time. Can you think of a more joyful way to experience life?
How all of this may unfold for you can be quite different than for someone else. But at any point of your journey, just know that you are loved. You may not see it or feel it immediately, but love for you abounds.
Helene
Sunday, October 11, 2009
All that remains is the truth
When you have survived an onslaught of what life can sometimes deliver, it's only natural to wonder what on earth has caused this rumble to take place. At this point you must ask yourself what is it in my experience that has been enriched by going through these events? What have I learned? What can I do now to ensure that what happens tomorrow is a more positive state of affairs than what I just lived through?
Though the above statements to some degree make it sound like life "happens" to you, be assured that no event in your experience, none whatsoever, has only to do with external circumstances. There is a dance taking place that you have undertaken to participate in and that dance has you partnering with many other souls on this journey that we consider our lifetime. Although "life" is underappreciated as a concept, for all is alive including every single atom that you touch with any of your senses, our perception of life is a much more narrow concert of the various strings and strains that are occurring within our sphere of influence.
That is where truth comes in. What is truth but an objective description of reality? From our point of view truth can take on as many forms as there are perceptions to shape it. The classic example is to list the details of a particular event from eyewitness accounts, no two of which will ever be exactly the same. The differences in people's priorities, points of attention, and personal values all contribute to create a different version of reality that each person can interpret as truth.
So return to the events alluded to at the beginning of this article. What has taken place in your life recently? Has a loved one suddenly left, has an opportunity vanished, have the lives of the people around you shifted into high drama gear? Whatever form this is taking place in your life, be reassured that there are many changes happening right now all over the planet and there is a massive shift in how people are recognizing that the old patterns no longer work. In other words, what has been a solution in the past, whether it be in the form of an age-old belief or even an institution, whether the trust you placed in a set of traditions no longer supplies the answers as it once did, whether the fear that is being felt as a community towards shared experiences such as the economy or an earthquake, all must be looked at with fresh eyes. Where a generation ago, people went to work for a company and retired from it forty years later, today's reality is that companies are shifting quickly and careers take on many different flavors before they are called complete. The same can be said for relationships, where blended families are much more common than they ever were. There is nothing wrong with observing old-time traditions, and the creation of fine cheeses is but one small tasty example where technology is best left aside. But to cling to an ideal of what life is meant to look like based on ideals from a past generation will not help you deal with your current reality. Are you frustrated with the current state of affairs because deep down it doesn't match with the picture that you grew up with, or one that was portrayed on a favorite TV show? While it's easy to dismiss this concept, it's much more prevalent subconsciously than it first appears.
So we again return to your current situation. As Byron Katie would suggest, look at the truth as it really is rather than the emotional impact of the difference between what you are experiencing and what you believe things should look like. This will lead to a place of acceptance, from which you are more likely to be capable of making decisions based on reason and true intuition rather than emotional upheaval.
And if it's a particularly difficult time for you, remember one eternal message from the bible: "and this too shall pass".
Hugs to you,
Helene
Though the above statements to some degree make it sound like life "happens" to you, be assured that no event in your experience, none whatsoever, has only to do with external circumstances. There is a dance taking place that you have undertaken to participate in and that dance has you partnering with many other souls on this journey that we consider our lifetime. Although "life" is underappreciated as a concept, for all is alive including every single atom that you touch with any of your senses, our perception of life is a much more narrow concert of the various strings and strains that are occurring within our sphere of influence.
That is where truth comes in. What is truth but an objective description of reality? From our point of view truth can take on as many forms as there are perceptions to shape it. The classic example is to list the details of a particular event from eyewitness accounts, no two of which will ever be exactly the same. The differences in people's priorities, points of attention, and personal values all contribute to create a different version of reality that each person can interpret as truth.
So return to the events alluded to at the beginning of this article. What has taken place in your life recently? Has a loved one suddenly left, has an opportunity vanished, have the lives of the people around you shifted into high drama gear? Whatever form this is taking place in your life, be reassured that there are many changes happening right now all over the planet and there is a massive shift in how people are recognizing that the old patterns no longer work. In other words, what has been a solution in the past, whether it be in the form of an age-old belief or even an institution, whether the trust you placed in a set of traditions no longer supplies the answers as it once did, whether the fear that is being felt as a community towards shared experiences such as the economy or an earthquake, all must be looked at with fresh eyes. Where a generation ago, people went to work for a company and retired from it forty years later, today's reality is that companies are shifting quickly and careers take on many different flavors before they are called complete. The same can be said for relationships, where blended families are much more common than they ever were. There is nothing wrong with observing old-time traditions, and the creation of fine cheeses is but one small tasty example where technology is best left aside. But to cling to an ideal of what life is meant to look like based on ideals from a past generation will not help you deal with your current reality. Are you frustrated with the current state of affairs because deep down it doesn't match with the picture that you grew up with, or one that was portrayed on a favorite TV show? While it's easy to dismiss this concept, it's much more prevalent subconsciously than it first appears.
So we again return to your current situation. As Byron Katie would suggest, look at the truth as it really is rather than the emotional impact of the difference between what you are experiencing and what you believe things should look like. This will lead to a place of acceptance, from which you are more likely to be capable of making decisions based on reason and true intuition rather than emotional upheaval.
And if it's a particularly difficult time for you, remember one eternal message from the bible: "and this too shall pass".
Hugs to you,
Helene
Saturday, October 10, 2009
All you need is love... or is it? (Part 2)
The subject of human needs seems to vary depending on where you are in your life. But certain constants seem to emerge from my conversations with people. Yesterday, I discussed some of the aspects of the need for love, and I will return to this topic here as well. First, there are two other fundamental needs that I'd like to offer for your consideration.
When we discuss the need for safety, people generally think in terms of physical safety. Certainly, physical survival is at the core of our amygdala, better known as the "reptile brain", where ancient instincts prompt us to strive for life. In this day and age, however, if your basic survival needs are met in the form of a roof over your head and food on the table, the concept of physical safety takes on a different form. There is a difference between using common sense, such as locking your doors at night as a matter of course, and being preoccupied with protecting yourself. If you find yourself constantly vigilant about your safety, a state that the media appears to promote with reports about all of the different contaminants in food, soil and the air we breathe, threats of terrorism and disease, and risks to your financial wellbeing, then you may want to question yourself on how much of your life has been relinquished to fear. You must drive your car with your eyes open, but if you are overly focused on what could go wrong as you drive, there may be much that you are missing in your journey. You get to choose what you focus on, and by allowing trust in yourself to be foremost in your decisions, your life will lighten considerably.
However, the real purpose for discussing safety is the subconscious need for emotional safety. The prevalence of this need has actually come as a surprise to me since it's one that we normally underplay. But consider this: does it feel safe to be more successful than your parents? Is it safe to step outside of the norms of society and dare to experience who you really are, whether it be an interest in the metaphysical or a different sexual orientation? How safe does it feel to break away from an addiction, since you would no longer know how to define yourself?
Emotional safety seems to be at the basis of many patterns that we set our willpower to change with limited success. Unless we can acknowledge this hidden impetus for our behavior, then the ability to change and grow is severely constrained. Where could this apply in your life?
A fascinating example of safety issues being triggered happened to a friend of mine. He asked me about a swelling on the side of his neck that had been painful for over 4 months. He had visited his medical doctor, who twice put him on an antibiotic regiment with no results. When we traced back to what was taking place in his life when this problem first arose, we realized that it coincided with his decision that his then-current relationship with a passionately emotional woman would soon come to an end. It is precisely this which prompted my friend to (subconsciously) physically protect his jugular vein against a possible lashing out. Once this was brought to light, a short treatment with energy work was administered, and two days later the swelling had completely and permanently disappeared.
The second "need" that regularly arises is a sense of worth, a desire to feel that you are contributing somehow, whether to a conversation or to society. This is a little tricky to discuss, because what one person will consider valuable will be summarily dismissed by another. The ideal, according to many spiritual traditions such as the Tao Te Ching, is to place your full attention on and derive full satisfaction from any activity that you choose to perform. I have yet to be entirely and consistently successful at this. So while we work on that, it's a good reminder that what we do for ourselves, such as preparing a well-balanced meal or taking the time to improve our physical fitness, is just as important as what we do for others. That being said, if you're really feeling anxiety in this area, then I recommend helping someone for a few hours. The topic of uncovering your life's purpose will be the subject of a future post. For now, know that you are an individual with a set of skills, preferences and experiences that is completely unique, and the value that you bring cannot be fulfilled by any other.
As we move towards transcending external needs, we come back to love being at the basis of it all. Love is a magical emotion that not only heals, but also expands with use! There is actually no limit to the amount of love that your heart can express. And this is where it can become a little confusing. You can love someone deeply at the soul level without it having to take on the form of a romantic relationship. It happens rather frequently that people meet and connect instantly, especially in a setting such as a spiritual conference. We have been conditioned to associate such a strong heart connection to a destiny of long-term relationship, or even to the concept of soul mates. But as we move into a time where the planet's vibration is rising (as scientists have verified), remember that the heart is the first to respond, and it is through this expansion of the love held within everyone that peace will be found. So enjoy this love, share it if it feels right for you, and call upon your intuition and other senses to discern where this love fits in your life.
A final word about hugs... When you give a quick hug to someone, it's like saying: "I'm glad that I got to see you". But if you have the courage to extend the hug to ten or even thirty seconds, then you are saying: "I open my heart to you. I'm grateful that you're in my life." It's a beautiful, healing and even transforming experience that I, for one, am only too happy to share!
May you enjoy a hug today,
Helene
When we discuss the need for safety, people generally think in terms of physical safety. Certainly, physical survival is at the core of our amygdala, better known as the "reptile brain", where ancient instincts prompt us to strive for life. In this day and age, however, if your basic survival needs are met in the form of a roof over your head and food on the table, the concept of physical safety takes on a different form. There is a difference between using common sense, such as locking your doors at night as a matter of course, and being preoccupied with protecting yourself. If you find yourself constantly vigilant about your safety, a state that the media appears to promote with reports about all of the different contaminants in food, soil and the air we breathe, threats of terrorism and disease, and risks to your financial wellbeing, then you may want to question yourself on how much of your life has been relinquished to fear. You must drive your car with your eyes open, but if you are overly focused on what could go wrong as you drive, there may be much that you are missing in your journey. You get to choose what you focus on, and by allowing trust in yourself to be foremost in your decisions, your life will lighten considerably.
However, the real purpose for discussing safety is the subconscious need for emotional safety. The prevalence of this need has actually come as a surprise to me since it's one that we normally underplay. But consider this: does it feel safe to be more successful than your parents? Is it safe to step outside of the norms of society and dare to experience who you really are, whether it be an interest in the metaphysical or a different sexual orientation? How safe does it feel to break away from an addiction, since you would no longer know how to define yourself?
Emotional safety seems to be at the basis of many patterns that we set our willpower to change with limited success. Unless we can acknowledge this hidden impetus for our behavior, then the ability to change and grow is severely constrained. Where could this apply in your life?
A fascinating example of safety issues being triggered happened to a friend of mine. He asked me about a swelling on the side of his neck that had been painful for over 4 months. He had visited his medical doctor, who twice put him on an antibiotic regiment with no results. When we traced back to what was taking place in his life when this problem first arose, we realized that it coincided with his decision that his then-current relationship with a passionately emotional woman would soon come to an end. It is precisely this which prompted my friend to (subconsciously) physically protect his jugular vein against a possible lashing out. Once this was brought to light, a short treatment with energy work was administered, and two days later the swelling had completely and permanently disappeared.
The second "need" that regularly arises is a sense of worth, a desire to feel that you are contributing somehow, whether to a conversation or to society. This is a little tricky to discuss, because what one person will consider valuable will be summarily dismissed by another. The ideal, according to many spiritual traditions such as the Tao Te Ching, is to place your full attention on and derive full satisfaction from any activity that you choose to perform. I have yet to be entirely and consistently successful at this. So while we work on that, it's a good reminder that what we do for ourselves, such as preparing a well-balanced meal or taking the time to improve our physical fitness, is just as important as what we do for others. That being said, if you're really feeling anxiety in this area, then I recommend helping someone for a few hours. The topic of uncovering your life's purpose will be the subject of a future post. For now, know that you are an individual with a set of skills, preferences and experiences that is completely unique, and the value that you bring cannot be fulfilled by any other.
As we move towards transcending external needs, we come back to love being at the basis of it all. Love is a magical emotion that not only heals, but also expands with use! There is actually no limit to the amount of love that your heart can express. And this is where it can become a little confusing. You can love someone deeply at the soul level without it having to take on the form of a romantic relationship. It happens rather frequently that people meet and connect instantly, especially in a setting such as a spiritual conference. We have been conditioned to associate such a strong heart connection to a destiny of long-term relationship, or even to the concept of soul mates. But as we move into a time where the planet's vibration is rising (as scientists have verified), remember that the heart is the first to respond, and it is through this expansion of the love held within everyone that peace will be found. So enjoy this love, share it if it feels right for you, and call upon your intuition and other senses to discern where this love fits in your life.
A final word about hugs... When you give a quick hug to someone, it's like saying: "I'm glad that I got to see you". But if you have the courage to extend the hug to ten or even thirty seconds, then you are saying: "I open my heart to you. I'm grateful that you're in my life." It's a beautiful, healing and even transforming experience that I, for one, am only too happy to share!
May you enjoy a hug today,
Helene
Friday, October 9, 2009
All you need is love... or is it?
There are many sides to this story, the list of what people feel they need. Because this is such a vast subject, today I'll focus on the part of the equation that is love and I'll present my other views tomorrow.
To a very large extent, the Beatles had it right: if you have love, you don't need anything else. What I mean by this is that most of the challenges that people face, especially from a personal satisfaction and behavioral perspective, can be distilled down to the desire to feel love. For example, if someone criticizes you, then they are probably trying, subconsciously no doubt, to feel better about themselves and they think they can achieve it by making themselves look good in comparison to you. If you often experience the need to be right, it just might be that you believe deep down that if you can show you're intelligent then people will value you. If you feel driven to do things for others, it could be that you have a compassionate nature or it could also be symptomatic of wanting to be appreciated by others.
These three examples have one thing at their root: they are three different ways that reflect the desire to be loved - through being valued and appreciated. So if you feel this love already, then those behaviors lose their tenacity over you and it's easier to release them. I have never met anyone who didn't have the desire to be loved. But the real key is not in being loved, but rather to love. Think of holding a baby, especially your own. Even if the baby is sleeping, in which case he/she is not giving you anything (other than the trust to let you hold them), the intensity of the love that runs through your heart as you hold and behold this tiny soul knows no bounds. This is the love that is coming from you and through you, and in doing so, it permeates your entire being. This love is complete, doesn't depend on someone else, and can be felt anytime you choose simply by recalling this moment.
This is very different from receiving love from someone else, which is also wonderful. However, if you become dependent on this external love, then you just might find yourself behaving in such a way as to protect this channel of love, even to the extent of changing your behavior and not expressing your true feelings for fear of losing the external source to your sense of wellbeing. This can easily lead to a pattern in your life of looking "out there" or in someone else, for your own happiness. The pattern will likely continue until you are able to shift to a position where you are central in your life, and you are responsible for feeling good. Needless to say, this is a tall order, but it is so fulfilling as to be the new basis on which you then operate.
A beautiful soul came into my life in 2002 by the name of Bonnie. Bonnie opened me up to Reiki, my first experience at being able to use energy for healing purposes. She has a heart of gold, and in three different instances, spent two days with me, one-on-one, going over the principles and practicalities of living a heart-based life. I came away from these sessions as if on a cloud of bliss, and stayed in that state for days and sometimes weeks. And while in that state, everything around me changed. People could sense me approaching as if I were wearing chimes. They picked up on the love that I was emitting, for love is a vibration that shares with others, even if you're not trying. Things that could have bothered me before simply "were", and I didn't get involved in the minor dramas. So on that basis, becoming love means that you don't need anything else because everything else will simply flow from it.
However, most of us live in a situation that is a little removed from a constant Zen state, and sustaining a feeling of complete bliss is not something that I've managed on a continuous basis. So while I focus on operating from love, and on bringing myself back to it when I deviate, there are two other "pillars" of happiness that I've found are rather common: a sense of safety (physical and emotional) and a sense of value. I'll be discussing these tomorrow.
So just for today, remember what it feels like to love, and expand that feeling to encompass your entire being. It'll be like giving yourself a hug!
Helene
To a very large extent, the Beatles had it right: if you have love, you don't need anything else. What I mean by this is that most of the challenges that people face, especially from a personal satisfaction and behavioral perspective, can be distilled down to the desire to feel love. For example, if someone criticizes you, then they are probably trying, subconsciously no doubt, to feel better about themselves and they think they can achieve it by making themselves look good in comparison to you. If you often experience the need to be right, it just might be that you believe deep down that if you can show you're intelligent then people will value you. If you feel driven to do things for others, it could be that you have a compassionate nature or it could also be symptomatic of wanting to be appreciated by others.
These three examples have one thing at their root: they are three different ways that reflect the desire to be loved - through being valued and appreciated. So if you feel this love already, then those behaviors lose their tenacity over you and it's easier to release them. I have never met anyone who didn't have the desire to be loved. But the real key is not in being loved, but rather to love. Think of holding a baby, especially your own. Even if the baby is sleeping, in which case he/she is not giving you anything (other than the trust to let you hold them), the intensity of the love that runs through your heart as you hold and behold this tiny soul knows no bounds. This is the love that is coming from you and through you, and in doing so, it permeates your entire being. This love is complete, doesn't depend on someone else, and can be felt anytime you choose simply by recalling this moment.
This is very different from receiving love from someone else, which is also wonderful. However, if you become dependent on this external love, then you just might find yourself behaving in such a way as to protect this channel of love, even to the extent of changing your behavior and not expressing your true feelings for fear of losing the external source to your sense of wellbeing. This can easily lead to a pattern in your life of looking "out there" or in someone else, for your own happiness. The pattern will likely continue until you are able to shift to a position where you are central in your life, and you are responsible for feeling good. Needless to say, this is a tall order, but it is so fulfilling as to be the new basis on which you then operate.
A beautiful soul came into my life in 2002 by the name of Bonnie. Bonnie opened me up to Reiki, my first experience at being able to use energy for healing purposes. She has a heart of gold, and in three different instances, spent two days with me, one-on-one, going over the principles and practicalities of living a heart-based life. I came away from these sessions as if on a cloud of bliss, and stayed in that state for days and sometimes weeks. And while in that state, everything around me changed. People could sense me approaching as if I were wearing chimes. They picked up on the love that I was emitting, for love is a vibration that shares with others, even if you're not trying. Things that could have bothered me before simply "were", and I didn't get involved in the minor dramas. So on that basis, becoming love means that you don't need anything else because everything else will simply flow from it.
However, most of us live in a situation that is a little removed from a constant Zen state, and sustaining a feeling of complete bliss is not something that I've managed on a continuous basis. So while I focus on operating from love, and on bringing myself back to it when I deviate, there are two other "pillars" of happiness that I've found are rather common: a sense of safety (physical and emotional) and a sense of value. I'll be discussing these tomorrow.
So just for today, remember what it feels like to love, and expand that feeling to encompass your entire being. It'll be like giving yourself a hug!
Helene
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