All you need is love... or is it?

There are many sides to this story, the list of what people feel they need. Because this is such a vast subject, today I'll focus on the part of the equation that is love and I'll present my other views tomorrow.

To a very large extent, the Beatles had it right: if you have love, you don't need anything else. What I mean by this is that most of the challenges that people face, especially from a personal satisfaction and behavioral perspective, can be distilled down to the desire to feel love. For example, if someone criticizes you, then they are probably trying, subconsciously no doubt, to feel better about themselves and they think they can achieve it by making themselves look good in comparison to you. If you often experience the need to be right, it just might be that you believe deep down that if you can show you're intelligent then people will value you. If you feel driven to do things for others, it could be that you have a compassionate nature or it could also be symptomatic of wanting to be appreciated by others.

These three examples have one thing at their root: they are three different ways that reflect the desire to be loved - through being valued and appreciated. So if you feel this love already, then those behaviors lose their tenacity over you and it's easier to release them. I have never met anyone who didn't have the desire to be loved. But the real key is not in being loved, but rather to love. Think of holding a baby, especially your own. Even if the baby is sleeping, in which case he/she is not giving you anything (other than the trust to let you hold them), the intensity of the love that runs through your heart as you hold and behold this tiny soul knows no bounds. This is the love that is coming from you and through you, and in doing so, it permeates your entire being. This love is complete, doesn't depend on someone else, and can be felt anytime you choose simply by recalling this moment.

This is very different from receiving love from someone else, which is also wonderful. However, if you become dependent on this external love, then you just might find yourself behaving in such a way as to protect this channel of love, even to the extent of changing your behavior and not expressing your true feelings for fear of losing the external source to your sense of wellbeing. This can easily lead to a pattern in your life of looking "out there" or in someone else, for your own happiness. The pattern will likely continue until you are able to shift to a position where you are central in your life, and you are responsible for feeling good. Needless to say, this is a tall order, but it is so fulfilling as to be the new basis on which you then operate.

A beautiful soul came into my life in 2002 by the name of Bonnie. Bonnie opened me up to Reiki, my first experience at being able to use energy for healing purposes. She has a heart of gold, and in three different instances, spent two days with me, one-on-one, going over the principles and practicalities of living a heart-based life. I came away from these sessions as if on a cloud of bliss, and stayed in that state for days and sometimes weeks. And while in that state, everything around me changed. People could sense me approaching as if I were wearing chimes. They picked up on the love that I was emitting, for love is a vibration that shares with others, even if you're not trying. Things that could have bothered me before simply "were", and I didn't get involved in the minor dramas. So on that basis, becoming love means that you don't need anything else because everything else will simply flow from it.

However, most of us live in a situation that is a little removed from a constant Zen state, and sustaining a feeling of complete bliss is not something that I've managed on a continuous basis. So while I focus on operating from love, and on bringing myself back to it when I deviate, there are two other "pillars" of happiness that I've found are rather common: a sense of safety (physical and emotional) and a sense of value. I'll be discussing these tomorrow.

So just for today, remember what it feels like to love, and expand that feeling to encompass your entire being. It'll be like giving yourself a hug!
Helene